Consultants For Solos

General

Good news for all of you who are forced want to practice on your own. There is a whole new industry cropping up: consultants for lawyers. Teerie Wheeler is teaching lawyers in Minnesota how to market themselves as many are forced to go solo.

Wheeler coaches lawyers in marketing techniques, because she says, “law schools don’t train lawyers to be business people.” No shit. That’s because if the law schools did, everyone would realize school was a bad business decision and drop out.

Julie Schaefer, a human resources consultant has a great term for solo practitioners: “involuntary small firms.” Yes, Julie, from taking the bar to paying off those loans, quite a bit of the legal experience is “involuntary.”

Judy Norberg, another new solo law firm consultant noted: “A lot of lawyers don’t understand the financial part of things.” Yes, Ms. Norberg, none of us do until the diploma hits our hand and Aunt Sallie starts calling every night.

It is comforting to know that if we do decide to go solo, there are vultures consultants just waiting to help, for a hefty fee, of course. However, our friends at Solo Practice U may have already beaten them to the carcass.

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Fake Lawyer Manages To Get Clients

General, Legal Profession

Michael Nelson, a career con artist, stole the identity of a New York attorney, started a law firm and stole $35,000 from clients for legal services he never carried out before he was caught. At least he doesn’t have to worry about malpractice.

The law scam was elaborate and well thought out. While between prison sentences, the con artist created the fake law firm and rented office space. He hired both attorneys and clerks, and based his new firm on a firm that really existed in Seattle. He found his clients online.

Maybe he could get work at Solo Practice University and troll for recent graduates online when he gets out of prison this time.

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Actress Gets Bitch Slapped and Sues

General

Nicollette Sheridan, the actress in ABC’s Desperate Housewives, filed suit against the show alleging assault and wrongful termination.

Talk about a nasty boss! Sheridan is claiming that producer Marc Cherry hit her in the face on the Wisteria Lane set in September 2008. According to her suit, all she did was ask him a question and he “took her aside and forcefully hit her with his hand across her face and head.”

Sheridan claims that when she went to ABC and reported the incident, they responded by killing off her character. She is asking ABC for $20 million for creating a hostile work environment and behaving abusively toward the cast. I still think it sounds better than document review.

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Litigation Happy Lawyer Sues Teens

General, Legal Aspects

I am the first to admit that I do not like children, and that means anyone under 18. When I see a child on the street in New York, my first thought is, why aren’t you in the suburbs where you belong? That being said, I wouldn’t haul them into court for behaving like children, but a trial lawyer in Delaware is.

Stuart Grant, a successful lawyer, is suing two recent high school graduates who allegedly attended his daughter Niki’s party at his house without an invitation. While at the party the teens went into the bedrooms and took his meds and a jug filled with coins. Not exactly big ticket items.

Because he wanted to show what a benevolent guy he is, Grant didn’t call the cops so that the teens wouldn’t have criminal records, no, the petty big hearted attorney went to the trouble of hiring a private investigator to track down those all important meds and jug o’ coins.

The vindictive prick Grant is going ahead with a lawsuit, asking for $6,000 in compensatory damages to cover the cost of the private investigator and the value of the missing items, and $10,000 from each of the two teens he’s suing to “make an example of them.” He even hired a private process server to go to one of the teen’s houses and serve him.

Well, all I can say to this guy is: You silly litigious prick, get yourself some more viagra meds, save a few more coins and fill up that jug, and then use the coins to pay for a lap dance and calm down. They’re kids, go sue someone your own age.

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Marijuana Law Needs Attorneys

General

Thousands of people attended the Colorado Cannabis Convention this weekend to learn more about starting a medical marijuana clinic. The good news is that there is a growing need for attorneys to help these clinics get started.

Back in 2000, voters in Colorado approved Amendment 20, which made the use of marijuana legal for those suffering with medical conditions. But now, attorney Robert Corry says that, “The government has taken notice of us, and they’re trying to regulate this industry out of business.” Corry and other attorneys have started marijuana advocacy groups to push for legislation that will ensure the industry is regulated by the free market and not the government.

Until 2008, patients who needed marijuana had no problem getting referrals from their doctors to get the drug or were given a “caregiver” who could grow up to six plants to supply them. That all changed last year when the U.S. Attorney General Holder announced that the Justice Department wouldn’t prosecute dispensaries that were popping up in other states.

As a result, there are a lot of dispensaries and not enough attorneys on hand to help them organize and give the new owners advice. Attorney Tae Darnell warns attorneys that, “You have to remember that this still is against federal law,” Darnell said during a panel discussion at the weekend convention. “You have to tread carefully.”

Well, it’s an alternative to document review or sh*t law, and if the clients can’t pay with cash, they can always bring in one of their plants as payment.

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