July 2010 - Page 2 of 2 - Noto Law School

Sweaty Seat Hog

July 20, 2010 Alejandro Calderon General

I’ve been out of the loop the past couple of days – crazy busy with the poverty thing. It’s amazing how time consuming being poor is. If I only had a dime for every bill collector I successfully avoided…

I saw this blurb about a New York lawyer who is pissed because other people leave their bags on the subway seats and don’t move them even though someone is standing. The NYPD does give out $50 tickets for this, because New York really needs money now.

Well, I can go one better than a package sitting on a seat. I just took the subway, and it’s hot in NY, about 95 and humid today. So a fat guy dripping with sweat, wearing shorts, gets on, and of course tries to squeeze into the seat next to mine. Half of his fat sweaty thigh came down on my just showered thigh.

He didn’t get off me until I yelled at him. He asked me if I felt better after I yelled at him. I told him I’d feel better if he died soon, but getting his fat off me was a good start. He should have to pay double the package fine.

Legal Sector At 1991 Lows

July 20, 2010 Alejandro Calderon General, Legal Aspects, Legal Profession

Guess I’m not the only jobless JD. Employment in New York’s legal sector has fallen to lows not seen since 1991, Law.Com reported.

This confirms why University of Michigan and other top students are only getting document review in India:

The labor data confirms earlier reports that law firms had dramatically scaled back their summer associate programs. Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom has 34 summer associates in New York, down from 102 in 2009. Weil, Gotshal & Manges meanwhile has 20, compared to 96 last year. A report by the National Association for Law Placement in May found New York firms reduced 2010 summer associate offers by 44 percent.

Mobster Picks and Licks

July 16, 2010 Alejandro Calderon General

A New York crime family captain who goes by the name “Big Nose” not only picked it in court, he then licked every finger. UGH, UGH and UGH. That’s the sort of client you pat on the shoulder and run away from when he holds out his hand to shake.

Witnesses say he spent a full ten minutes looking for nose nuggets while the judge instructed the jury. Maybe he was inspired by Gordon Brown’s public nose pick: